Wednesday, October 13, 2010

My Birthday Shoes

Five days from now I will officially be in my late 20s. Arrgh! 


My birthday shoes from Entrada, Php350

Red peep-toe, medium-heeled wedge shoes.  Why did I choose red?  Because it represents a bit of balance in my life now.  Pain and Sacrifice, Courage and Passion.

Pain and Sacrifice
Being a girl in her late 20s still dependent on her parents is really painful for me.  Living in a very small space without something I could call my own is an everyday sacrifice.  I am tired of going to the mall on an everyday basis, not to enjoy or to buy stuff, but to kill time.  I am longing to eat that sumptuous dish that my father prepared on a hopefully neat dining table or have that uninterrupted melatonin for a good night sleep.  I love my parents.  I really do.  I just can't express how I would love to care for them and be with them until they get old.  I want to give the best life they could have (if only I have the means), but right now, I want my FREEDOM.  How I long to be independent, or even just to have my own room, my own space.. do things on my own, in my own time.  

I wonder will they be proud of me if I move out?  Just like my younger siblings.  My sister (no she didn't move out).  Technically, she did because she's now living in the UK for the 'oh-so-sacrifice-that-will-make-our-parents-proud', and my brother getting married come December this year, left a mark in me as the 'oh-so-scared-big-sister-with-no-good-plans-in-her-life'.  I bet not.  For the longest time, I let them think what they want to think of me. It has been a burden for me, but I kept silent.  Apparently, there are only 2 reasons for me so I could move out.  (1) Work abroad, or (2) Get married.  It's sad that NONE of those will happen.  Wait, I guess the getting married part will come, but not in the near future.  Haha.

Courage and Passion
Sure, I am the family's weak link, but it won't keep me from being happy.  And now that I am turning a year older, I just have to have courage and passion in every step I make.  To be the person I always wanted to be, and hope that everything won't be too late.


Happy birthday to me,
dianneregina
Thanks to my cousin Ren for taking time and effort to buy me this pair.  I love you.

11 comments:

  1. Aww, don't be too hard on yourself sweetie.. Happy birthday in advance! - Trace

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  2. thanks trace, ang ending ay positivity pa din naman.. and come to think of it, i have this blog, a space that i wanted. hehe. thanks again *hugs*:)

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  3. don't think of yourself as the weak link, dianne.. it's just a phase, and you'll get your share of "highs" in the near future.. =) you've got so much in you, and i am one friend who definitely looks up to you even if i'm taller than you are.. *wink* Have a great birthday!

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  4. advance happy birthday dianne! stay strong and beautiful. always get that power hug to keep your focused and determined :)

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  5. thanks daves :)
    awwww zsak, you made me cry! ha! salamat :)

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  6. Hey, I still live with my parents. I don't know why but living on my own never really crossed my mind. It's not that I can't because I was able to do it for my 3-month stay here in the US. It's just that, I want to cherish the 20+ years of my single life with my family because I'd probably spend the rest of it "away" from them. Besides, it's our "duty" as the eldest to keep the family together. :)

    Cheer up! Happy Birthday Sis! :)

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  7. i know je :) hope you don't get me wrong, i really love to be with my parents, i don't mind living with them, they're my parents. it's just that I NEED SPACE! it's really hard for me and i don't expect a lot of people will understand. and to add to that, being the eldest makes things worse.

    thanks sa greeting, i am figuratively 2 years older than you na? grrr! haha :) mishu, pasalubong. :D

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  8. Haha you're 28 na ba? I'll be 27 in January so konti na lang. You'll have plenty of time to have that SPACE. And when you get it, I bet you'll come crawling back to your parents' house har har har! >:)

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  9. ay 27 lang din naman pala.. sobra sa bilang! haha! it's not that i dont want to be with them.. let's put it this way, I WANT TO BE A BILLIONAIRE (kahit millionaire lang) SO FREAKING BAD, para makabili lang ako ng bahay namin na kakasya kaming lahat! that's all, it's not naman i want to be away from them.. SPACE lang kahit sa tabi lang din nila..

    why am i explaining? grrrr!! i bet no one will understand talaga. :(

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  10. i love you ate dian.. i know what's inside you... i know what you feel and i understand what it means... cheer up! we are here for you!
    *hugs & kisses:)*

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  11. thanks ren, i love you! waaaaah naiiyak na naman ako *hugs*

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